After Wynter Comes Spring: Diana Gordon and the Importance of Authenticity to One’s Self

Does the name Wynter Gordon mean anything to you? Odds are it doesn’t, as it didn’t for me up until a few days ago either. But in the past few days, an accidental song discovery led me on a mini-quest for information, one that ultimately had an unexpected ending of self-reflection. This is a discussion of that journey and how even the most vapid of pop songs can take us to some unexpected places in our minds and hearts.

it all began on Monday, March 9, 2020. That night, embarrassingly enough, I was indulging in my occasional habit of prowling Youtube for nightcore versions of dance-pop and edm songs. If you don’t know what nightcore is, there’s no need to get into that, and if you do know, then there’s definitely no need to get into that. But, this journey led me to discover a song that very much caught my attention. That song would be Dirty Talk by Wynter Gordon.

Released in 2010, Dirty Talk is exactly what one would expect of an electro house influenced dance-pop song of the era. It has a throbbing 4/4 beat, David Guetta style production, and can soundtrack a summer highway drive as well as a dark nightclub. Its uniqueness comes in its lyrics, which manage to be flirtatious, borderline pornographic, and yet somehow tame all at the same time. I’d recommend a listen, but I’m also very biased towards this music style, so make of it what you will. What’s important to our story is that I was instantly hooked.

I took to Spotify and listened to Wynter’s only album, released in 2011, the interestingly titled With the Music I Die. It was enjoyable, if not particularly unique, for a dance-pop album of the time. The only other song that I personally felt measured up to Dirty Talk was Till Death, which was wisely enough the second single, but regardless, the rest of the album was pleasant enough and made me want to hear more.

However, a proper follow up was nowhere to be found. Other than a seemingly out-of-character acoustic EP from 2015, this was where the case of Wynter Gordon went cold. No social media, no further albums or singles, and no obvious explanation to it all. So naturally, I had to do some digging and find out what happened. This is what I learned.

Diana Gordon was signed in 2005 to Atlantic Records after writing on Mary J. Blige's album, The Breakthrough, that year. Only 19 years old at the time, the label struggled with how to present Gordon to the public for a proper debut. During that time, she proceeded to write hit songs for artists such as Danity Kane and Flo Rida, even appearing on Flo Rida's Sugar under her newly adopted stage name, Wynter Gordon.

Following her success on Sugar, Atlantic assigned Gordon to their dance subsidiary, Big Beat, where they tasked her with creating a pop-EDM crossover record. At the label's request, she reluctantly agreed to the release of Dirty Talk as her official debut single. It would become a top 10 pop hit in several European countries, as well as reach #1 on the Australian music charts. While not a mainstream hit in the USA, it did reach #1 on the American dance charts, becoming the 18th biggest dance hit of the year. Subsequent singles saw little success overseas, but did provide more top 5 dance hits in the USA that had staying power into 2012. With The Music I Die was released to little mainstream success, but again, had provided Gordon with a steady string of hits in the EDM scene.

However, this is where Diana Gordon's path diverged from I would have expected. In subsequent interviews she would describe her Wynter Gordon days using phrases like "It wasn't me", "I can't be this girl", and "It felt like musical prostitution". She would recount having constant pain and pressure in her forehead from the stress of fighting her own instincts. She would share the stage with Skrillex and Deadmau5, playing to crowds of over 10,000 people, but the more she stayed in this world, the more unhappy she became and the more inauthentic she felt.

This lead her to depart Atlantic in 2011, at the height of her success in EDM, to pursue a more authentic career to her musical vision. She would later switch to her birth name of Diana Gordon for her musical output after 2015, claiming to not want to disappoint the fans of Wynter and to want a clean break.

After years of struggle, a nervous breakdown, and a move from New York to Los Angeles, Diana would eventually find her 2nd breakthrough on an album you've likely heard of, that album being Beyoncé's Lemonade. Gordon would pen the famous line about "Becky with the good hair". From there she has used to opportunity and exposure to work with artists such as Mark Ronson and release more solo music under her own name. This music has touched on topics such as her lost brother, her mother's teenage pregnancy, and her experiences as a black woman in the 21st century USA; topics a world away from the sex-kitten come-ons of Dirty Talk.

So, what is one to make of this? For me, I can empathize with Diana as a human being, even in spite of my feelings as a fan of Wynter. I think Gordon's story speaks to a universal truth for all people of the importance of being authentic to who one is. It matters not whether you have the support of a successful company, millions of fans, and are wealthier than you ever could have imagined. If you're not authentic to yourself and to others, that success can easily feel like a burden and a curse rather than an accomplishment and a gift.

While I very much enjoyed the work of Wynter and would hope to hear more from here, the most important thing is ultimately the health, peace, and newfound success Diana found in being authentic to her music, her vision, and who she considers herself to be as a person. I am reminded and informed by her experiences in life, as I have been through my own, of the hidden costs artifice and inauthenticity have for each and every one of us. Let this be a sobering lesson that it doesn't have to be that way, and even if you find yourself feeling like you can never be successful, authentic, and happy all at once, it is in fact possible, and in the face of the costs of denying yourself, is the only worthwhile way to live.